Who do I e-mail if I have a problem with my Weasel Ball order?
Please send e-mail to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Is my WeaselBalls.com order safe?
Absolutely. All of our order processing is done with encryption and handled by Paypal. They handle the credit
cards and the e-checks, we handle your Weasel Balls, albeit, very gently.
Why does WeaselBalls.com exist?
WeaselBalls.com exists solely to provide you, the consumer, with Weasel Ball related merchandise at an affordable
price. We do not sell any other products and we never will. We are dedicated to being The Internet's #1 Weasel Ball Superstore(tm).
feel that a site that sells Weasel Ball related merchandise as a compliment to other products is doing a great
disservice to the Weasel Balls. Would you buy Tires from a hot dog cart? No. So why would you buy Weasel Balls from a place that
doesn't specialize in them? We don't know why you would either.
You want Weasel Balls? Well, We've Got Your Weasel Balls Right Here(tm). You want a pair of moderately priced dress
shoes? Sorry, but we can't help you.
About our location:
WeaselBalls.com Headquarters is located in Dayton, New Jersey (The
Weasel Ball State). Our warehouse plays nothing but the
songs of Rick Astley*. We find that this is an extremely condusive
environment for the packing and shipping of Weasel
Balls en masse. Allow us to explain why by detailing the plot of the "Bibby Bobka" episode of Perfect Strangers:
In the episode, Balki has a recipe for a delicious pastry called the "Bibby Bobka", a food native to his foreign
homeland of Mepos. After letting a few of his friends try it, though hesitant, Balki is talked into starting a
business with Larry to sell them because they are so delicious.
As Balki prepares Bibby Bobkas, he sings a special Bibby Bobka song (to the tune of "The Limbo Rock"), and claims
that it is imperative to their preparation:
When you're rolling out the dough
Just make sure to roll it slow
When you roll the dough too quick
Bibby Bobkas make you sick
When you put the filling in
The Bibby Bobkas become a big hit, but unfortunately, the laws of supply and demand take effect as the
orders for them stack up -- so much so that Balki and Larry are working all night and day to keep up. Predictably, the
system eventually breaks down due to the preparation of the pastries
becoming too time consuming.
At some point, Larry is left alone to prepare the pastries and unwisely neglects to sing the crucial Bibby Bobka
song. It is at this point when ALL THE PATRIES BEGIN TO CHAOTICALLY EXPLODE.
Just make sure you wear a grin
When you smile at what you bake
Bibby Bobkas come out swell
They explode because they were goods not prepared with loving care. The lesson in this episode is obvious: When you
market a product not only must it be prepared with loving care, it must have a special preparation song,
otherwise it might explode.
We at WeaselBalls.com do not have a special Weasel Ball order processing song, so instead, we play nothing but Rick
Astley. As a result of this, our Weasel Balls have NEVER ONCE EXPLODED. Not even once.
But Why Rick Astley?
BECAUSE IT'S RICK ASTLEY! HELLO?
Are you sure you're a real business?
Absolutely. We have sold many, many Weasel Balls to happy customers, and
we would like to sell one to you too. Our
PayPal account is verified and we have placed ads on popular web sites. You can
count on us for all of your Weasel Ball needs.
* Rick Astley is in no way affiliated with Weaselballs.com